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But you’ll understand that later. Anyhow, Uncle Charley didn’t tell Mr. Diffie that it was a practical joke that Randy Horton did because he didn’t like me much and thought it would be hilarious to make it look like I had the hots for my own sister. I mean you can’t very well write a song about something like that, now can you?But Uncle Charley thought there might be a song in there somewhere, so he sort of glossed over a lot of what happened and just gave Mr. Diffie the highlights of what might have happened if it hadn’t been a practical joke, and if it hadn’t been the names of a brother and sister.What Uncle Charley didn’t tell Mr. Diffie about is what I’m about to tell you all about. I know you won’t believe me. Nobody believes what happened, even though there’s proof. But I’ll get to that later.First, I don’t want there to be any of that laughing at my name. I know about all the Billy Bob jokes. I got named William Robert after some emporer named William that my mother read about. ”“You’ve got to learn to multi-task,” Mark said with a snort of derision.Dexter put a hand under his armpit and made a farting noise while saying, “I’ll figure out how to listen to two conversations at once, instant message, and answer e-mails at the same time.”“Jesus! What have you been eating to make those kinds of noises?” Mark asked.The sound of a horn blowing could be heard over the phone. Mark shouted, “I have to change lanes asshole. Fucker keeps riding in my blind spot.”“Beans,” Dexter answered finding it difficult to keep from laughing.Mark said, “I didn’t call you to listen to you fart. Call me when you get off the pot.”“Is there anything else that you need to tell me?” Dexter asked.“Not really,” Mark said.“I’ll talk to you when I get to the office,” Dexter said.“I guess that would be okay. Next time, get off the pot when I call you,” Mark said.Dexter disconnected and laughed. He said, “I’m gonna be on the pot every time you call, asshole.”The phone rang again. Dexter.
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